This is an uncomfortable subject for many, and is one of the ways popular culture tries to call traditional Judeo-Christian traditions into question, often picking on Catholics as they do so. The question is usually posed thus:
How do you reconcile the idea of a Loving God with the idea of Hell? Aren't the two mutually exclusive?
To which my reply, if asked personally, is: Well, no, because the idea of a Loving God implies that of Hell. Allow me to explain. . .
First, let's address the questions of what Hell is and how one ends up there. The popular interpretation is that 1) Hell is a fiery abyss of sadistic torures, a la Dante's Inferno(you'll need a Flash plug-in for that link), and 2) you did something very bad, something that pissed God off so He sent you to Hell as punishment. But, interestingly enough, this is not what the Catholic Church teaches about Hell.
The church's teaching on Hell is first, that Hell is the complete and utter absence of God, and second that is it actually not that God condemns one to Hell, but rather, that one does that for oneself. People wind up in Hell who reject God, His Grace, His Mercy and Forgiveness. This is, in fact, the definition of Mortal Sin-- anything that constitutes a denial or rejection of God. Sin is the turning away from God, repentance is the turning back to God. Those who wind up in Hell are those who die and never, even in that last instant, repent of their mortal sin. It is, in that last moment, a choice: turn back to God and throw yourself on His Mercy, or reject Him.
Because there is that last moment to repent, the Church never teaches that any specific person is in Hell--not even Hitler. Now, we can certainly suspect that his Fuhrerness (and his buddies Mengele, Himmler, et al) are roasting merrily to the cackling delight of Asmodeus and the rest of the infernal pack, but ultimately, we do not know. It is theoretically possible that, at that last moment, Hitler (literally) saw the light and so is now spending a slow millennium or three in Purgatory, listening to "It's a Small World" over and over again. . .(Far better to repent during one's life, to Confess and do penance now, and skip the pain of purgation. It'll likely be several centuries of Stair Master for me. . . *shudders*).
What this all means then, is that Hell is a choice. People who are in Hell have chosen it. It may baffle us why anyone would be so. . . stupid as to choose Hell, but unfortunately, I've met a few people in my time who wouldn't surprise me if they did. All of them share certain traits in common-- they are unbearably Pride-full, and they are very, very angry at God. Those most angry at God tend to claim to be atheists, but their attitude proclaims quite clearly that they are actually anti-theists. [Mind you, I'm not saying all atheists are so, just some of them]. They literally hate God, and any suggestion that maybe they could see things from other perspectives is greeted with scorn, derision, and more predictable anger. They are sad, sorry cases for whom we must all pray, because there is little else we can do for them, and Hell is worse than even the worst things we can imagine, and it is not God's desire (nor should it be ours) that anyone, no matter how bad, end up there.
Ultimately, the ability to choose Hell is itself a proof that God is Loving. God created us with Free Will, and all choices (well, all moral choices at least) boil down to God/ not-God. While we live, we are constantly given the opportunity to choose again--and so the righteous can always fall, and the sinner can always find redemption. We just choose again. That final choice, given at the moment if death, is the last choice, the final decision between God or not-God. It is the most important of them all, and the ultimate proof of our freedom. For if we have free will in all other things, but no free will to choose God (or not-God), then all the other freedoms are fake, pretend choices in illusory freedom. Complete freedom demands that we have the ability to choose God or not-God, and so complete freedom therefore demands the existence of not-God, which is to say, Hell.
And this, finally, is how Hell and a Loving God are linked. God, loving us into existence, created us in His Image, including Freedom. That Freedom is only worth anything if it includes the ultimate freedom, to choose God or not. So, this is why the two ideas are not mutually exclusive--the existence of Hell and the ability to choose it are themselves evidence of God's Love.
For more reading: What the Catechism says (scroll down to part IV)
An article on "Radical Liberty"
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