Spiritual Direction revisited

I was asked once on another blog awhile ago: "How do you go about finding a spiritual director?" At the time I really didn't know how to answer that question and am still not quite that sure. I won't go into details of personal events, but suffice it to say I am not in the most directed time in my own life at the moment on a faith level but I did find some information and resources in the following article. I am usually loathe to post another's article to answer a questions, but the following says it best (that I have been able to find).

"TAKE CARE"
Thoughts on Choosing a Spiritual Director

"It is very important that individuals, desiring to advance in recollection and perfection, take care into whose hands they entrust themselves, for the disciple will become like the master." (The Living Flame of Love, 3:30) This is a most wise instruction from Saint John of the Cross and should be taken very seriously. If we recognize the value and priority of our relationship with God and if we desire to grow in that relationship, then we should choose carefully the person who will serve as our spiritual director. We will reflect and act upon the advice and suggestions that our director gives; we want to "take care into whose hands we entrust" ourselves. What follows are some thoughts to consider in choosing a director.

I begin with a well-known text in which John of the Cross speaks of the principal tasks and responsibilities of those who serve in the ministry of spiritual direction:

Directors should reflect that they themselves are not the chief agent, guide, and mover of souls in this matter, but the principal guide is the Holy Spirit, who is never neglectful of souls, and they themselves are instruments for directing these souls to perfection through faith and the law of God, according to the spirit given by God to each one. Thus the whole concern of directors should not be to accommodate souls to their own method and condition, but they should observe the road along which God is leading one; if they do not recognize it, they should leave the soul alone and not bother it. (The Living Flame of Love, 3:46)

Though the main focus of this text is the director, there are important implications here for directees to consider.

"The principal guide is the Holy Spirit." This is at the very heart of the theology of spiritual direction. To be attentive to the Spirit as guide, we should choose a director with whom we do not have an extensive history. A person that we know well could become a distraction to the objectivity that is necessary for a healthy direction relationship. Our focus must remain on the Spirit at work within us. If we choose a director with whom we are familiar in another context(s), human factors can emerge that compromise that objectivity. We can become hesitant or embarrassed about sharing on a deep level because we know that we will encounter the director in those other settings. And, we may see the director in a light that is not helpful to the relationship. This has the potential to create a lack of comfort that can encumber effective spiritual direction.

"According to the spirit given by God to each one." Spiritual direction is not designed to be "one size fits all." It must be attentive to the unique ways in which the Spirit is guiding each of us. To maximize openness to the graces available through spiritual direction, we should choose a director with whom we do not have a personal or professional relationship. Dual relationships raise the issue of safeguarding appropriate boundaries. Personal boundaries are not only physical and emotional, they are also informational. Directees and directors who are in more than one relationship with one another may unintentionally share information outside direction; such inadvertent breaches of confidentiality can erode the trust necessary for direction. Closely related to this is the situation of a spiritual director serving for several members of a community/group to which he/she belongs. While there may be situations in which alternatives are not possible, in general, a diversity of directors from outside is preferable for the spiritual health and development of the community/group.

"Not to accommodate souls to their own method and condition." Directors who have been well formed and trained are keenly aware that the potential for compromising objectivity and personal [12-13] boundaries is very real. They will understand precisely why Saint John of the Cross cautions them in this regard. If that potential for compromise is present, we have the right to assume that the director will notice it and address it, or that the director will be willing to discuss it fully if we mention it. We must sense the director's conviction that spiritual direction is about God's work in us and not about what the director can accomplish.

In light of the above, what qualities might a directee look for in a director? First, a humility that invites our freedom to explore the ways of the Spirit in every dimension of life. When we do not sense that we are encouraged to take up that exploration, we need to examine the roots of that, even though it may involve questioning the health or focus of the direction relationship.

Second, a knowledge of the spiritual life that encourages faith in God and focus on God present and active in our life, and that nurtures confidence of being guided along the pathways of the spiritual journey. Though we may not be familiar with every kind of experience that can emerge in the spiritual life, we must have a basic trust that the director's guidance is useful and beneficial in providing us with some insight into our experience.

Third, a concern that promotes growth. Even though directors may ask about health or affective issues when appropriate, we must have a sense that our continuing spiritual development is at the foundation of the questions, suggestions, and recommendations we receive in direction.

Fourth, a respect that affirms us as persons. Spiritual direction can invite us to experiment with different prayer forms and perspectives. Still, we must experience our spiritual life as truly our own, as a graced adventure that fits our daily life and capabilities as they continue to evolve.

Fifth, an honesty that is willing to challenge. The preceding qualities do not negate the director's responsibility to challenge and address honestly any issues, behaviors, or practices that could be detrimental to our progress in the spiritual life. We should sense that we are welcome to ask the director for suggestions and recommendations that will facilitate the deepening of our relationship with and response to God.

Sixth, the above qualities together point to the director's faith which always recognizes and acknowledges that "the principal guide is the Holy Spirit." We should sense that this recognition and acknowledgment are never lost sight of in the direction relationship and that they are an expression of the director's own love and desire for God.

The director's humility, knowledge, concern, respect, honesty, and faith, however blessed and beneficial, do not exonerate us from taking responsibility for our part in the direction relationship. The topics which emerge in direction can be uncomfortable and probing. Failure to face and address those topics, at times, may not be a reflection on the director's ability, but a call to our own self-examination for any lack of self-knowledge, low self-esteem, or unwillingness to look at our life as it really is.

When speaking about those seeking a spiritual director, Saint John of the Cross makes the assumption that they are "desiring to advance in recollection and perfection." Two brief points implicit in this phrase will serve as a conclusion to these reflections. First, this desire to advance must be genuine and not merely a ploy to be noticed as "holy." Such a ploy is but a very thin veneer for pride. Second, the spiritual direction relationship must be at the service of that desire to advance. Anything less will not point the way toward recollection and perfection and, ultimately, union with God. Truly, then, directees must "take care into whose hands they entrust themselves." It is a matter of life, our spiritual life.

Brother Joel Giallanza, C.S.C.
Institute for Spiritual Direction - Diocese of Austin
P.O. Box 13327- Austin, Texas 7871

What Good is Spiritual Direction?

This next topic doesn't come from any one specific question, but I've seen it enough out there, from evangelical pulpits to Chick Tracts, to discussions with friends in college, that I thought it would be worth introducing. The question/ idea is along these lines:

What's the point of spiritual direction? If I have faith, isn't that enough? Why should I turn completely hand over my spiritual development to another person? Aren't my prayers enough? Why does a priest (or anyone else) need to get involved?

First off, let me link to the Catholic Encyclopedia article on Spiritual Direction, so we all know what's being discussed.

Yes, it is true, we can all talk to God any time we want, we certainly don't need priests or anyone else for that. And having faith is good--> but a man can have great faith in God and still walk off a cliff in the dark.

What we're all kinda bad at is listening to God-- it's far too easy to hear our egos and decide it's God talking. This is the problem of interpreting scripture all on your own without any training-- the Bible becomes the mirror of our own desires, saying what we want it to say. Priests and other "professionals", especially in spiritual counseling, help ensure that we do not wander into error. And I do not mean simply "doctrinal error" as such, because arguments that boil down to "Because We Said So!" never impressed me much. Rather, they challenge us by ensuring that we're not cherry picking the Bible, misinterpreting passages, falling victim to that greatest of deceivers, Pride, or forgetting important aspects and insights from tradition.

In another forum, I once wrote regarding "no need for spiritual direction":

Kat can attest that when it comes to religious and spiritual matters, I can be fiercely independent. . . It is a very commonly held sentiment, one heard over and over again from evangelical pulpits and a myriad of other places. And, there was probably a time in my college days when I agreed with this-- partly out of bitterness and resentment, partly out of that native "fierce independence", partly stubbornness/ Pride. I, too, would rather "do it on my own."

Of course, when it comes down to it, we all have to do it on our own-- but doing something on your own does not mean doing it alone, or completely sans guidance.

. . .When you forgo spiritual direction/ counseling, you run the risk of not discerning correctly, because all your discernment will be completely subjective, there will be no outside input for you to consider, much less disagree with.

Spiritual direction is not putting your spiritual development completely into the hands of another mortal. It is, rather, a chance to hear something outside of our own heads. While it is true that some people possess the necessary honesty and self-discipline to be pretty OK on their own, I do not think it ever wise to assume that one is among those people. Because if you have any lack in these areas and most people, very much including myself, do lack in these areas, you end up running wild on the spiritual plains.

Without something to at least serve as a guidepost, discernment quickly becomes a self-centered thing, where God's Will becomes My Will. At this point, one is simply a Jesus-oriented Fluff-bunny Wiccan, wearing a cross and proclaiming "An it harm none, do as thou wilt!" A nice sentiment, but with no room for development or growth.

Spiritual direction, formal or informal, maintains the challenge of faith. In fact, if you never disagree with your spiritual advisor, then there's no chance for growth. The church and all the opportunities for direction are not in place to force marching orders down our throats-- they exist to serve as the structure for our growth. It is in the uncomfortable disagreements that we all grow in understanding and wisdom.

But those uncomfortable disagreements cannot happen if there is no one to disagree with. Do I always agree with 100% of what any other person says? Nope. And I think this is a good thing. If I agreed completely with everything someone said all the time, then there is no growth for me to gain from having known them-- nor for them to gain from having known me.

This is not a lack of confidence in my own Faith. Not at all. It is, however, a humble (or rather, as humble as I can currently manage ^_^) admission that I am imperfect, a sin-prone mortal who needs reminding that yes, I am mortal and sin-prone, but am called and created for something greater. That's what Spiritual direction is (at least how I see it)-- that reminder of the higher standard.

Spiritual direction is a comfort in times of challenge, and a challenge in times of comfort. In my private journal, I also wrote:

But in a balance, where there is overall agreement, but a very few non-agreements-- here there is a delightful, creative tension. Here, one learns the discipline of tradition without stifling the intellect. When one submits to what they don't really like, then the few places there are true disagreements become clearer. In fact, for all three of my disagreements, I can say that I do not agree--but, I can understand and accept. Mind you, it has taken. . . years to get here. First, I had to become a God-forsaken Liberal to learn what I had disagreements with, and then, Heaven help me, I started to become a (relatively) Rabid Conservative tired of all the self-indulgence in my former associates. Good Lord, I can b***h about post-Vatican II music with the best of them (Palestrina all the way, baby!), and nothing makes me happier than a bit of St. Bernard of Clairvaux as a chaser to the latest Harry Potter. But each movement was a challenge. In my God-Forsaken Liberal days, I swore I would never become one of those "mean, tyrannical, authoritarian conservatives."

I was wrong.

Our disagreements are not just challenges for them-- they must be challenges for us. I have, at long last, come to terms with the pain of the vocation I was not allowed to answer. I took a different road, and I would not change that now. . . Had I been allowed to follow that vocation, I would have missed so many precious things. And now, I can say "Look, I understand the ban. I don't agree with it, so much, but I understand and can accept it."

. . .Of course, with these differences, the attitude should always be "I don't understand this teaching as it's been presented, it seems unjust/ insane/ etc. . . I would like to come to understanding" and not "You are wrong, I am right, the Church must change to fit my ideas!" [Likewise, rabid Conservatives who answer all things with the standard "Because the Church says so!" really need to get out more. . .]

Yes, sometimes change is needed. But more often it is we who must change, not the whole rest of the church. And that's the challenge. We should never be completely satisfied and comfortable with the hand we hold-- as soon as we smile in smug satisfaction, God will raise us two red chips, and worse, He'll smile right back.

I think you can see a theme developing. The fact is, as individuals, we are prone to resting on our laurels. We love think that because we're "filled with the Spirit!" that we can then go and do as our hearts desire because "Ohh, I'm filled with the Spirit! I must have this craving for chocolate because God wants me to!" You know, this reminds me of some Handel my church choir sings now and then. . . "Oh we like sheep have gone astray. We have turned, everyone to his own way. . ."

Spiritual direction is the ongoing challenge to us. Our advisor lays down that challenge for us, to be sure that what we're filled with really is the Spirit, to be sure that we're correctly understanding what the Spirit's trying to tell us, to make sure we're not about to walk off a cliff and moreover, to always challenge us to greater degrees of perfection.

While we can all challenge ourselves, it's always better to have the interaction of two people challenging each other to grow in faith, hope, love and patience. It's one thing to tell yourself "Gee, self, we really need to work on ______." But hearing it from another makes it more real, and makes us more likely to actually act on that need to change.